Hey Everyone. First time on this board, so:
38 year old/male
diagnosed ~4 years ago bipolar 2, addiction, and some of the usual "extras" that come with it all.
1,200MG Lithium
30MG Remeron
There are several other scripts they want me to take, but either it's a cost thing or I don't want to be pilled-out

So, this post is like a vent/feedback thing.

Obviously, things are always up and down, but the past few weeks are really kicking my butt. I'm freaking drowning here and I can't find the surface to even begin to swim towards. I'll try to keep it short . .

-I've been having daily mild hallucinations and sporadic auditory
-I can't stop sleeping. I mean, have you ever slept until it literally hurt, and then kept going? I know that's a symptom of depression, but I really don't feel depressed, and I've had tons of experience.
-I feel like I'm in a constant haze, like there are sections of my mind missing. I don't really feel all here, mentally and physically. Like some of me is here and some of me . . . well, somewhere else, or gone. I don't know.
-I think from the hypo, sometimes I feel like something else altogether. You know, something not human. Like a god, or devil.
-I'm so tired of all of this that I'm losing energy to deal and I feel like I'm getting swallowed by darkness, and no one else can see this. I'm so frustrated that I'm thinking I need to just lose it completely for a while so others can see that it's real, so I can believe it's real and because I'm done with treading the line by myself.
-I've fought constantly to barely keep my job the past 4 years. I feel like every day, is going to be the last. And that's legit, and exhausting.
-I'm 3 weeks sober (again), and man, this really sucks. I'm not feeling aftershocks from lack of chemicals, I just have nowhere to run and I'm not going to do this for a whole lot longer before I reach for something. Not if it's going to stay like this.

That's it then. Thanks for reading! If you have feedback, great, if not, that's cool too. I think, I just really don't have anyone to talk to about this crap for a long time now (since it crushed my last relationship a few years ago) and I'm hoping this will help. I'm just confused, solo and tired, you know?

I feel like I should end with a joke or something. That was a big blob of ****.

Later