Thanks for replying. Yeah, I can totally relate to not wanting to discuss my anxieties with the people who are causing them as not wanting to freak them out or make things worse.

The book is called Overcoming Low Self-Esteem. I'm about half way through an intial read and then will go back and do more of the exercises and re-read the relevant bits. So far though it's a revelation. I've done CBT for social anxiety but it didn't focus specifically on low self esteem which I'm now convinced is the major trigger for me. It's really well written as well. Some CBT books are quite heavy handed and go straight in with asking you to do assignments and write things down. This one takes it's time and you can choose to do the exercises in your own time and still feel like you're getting a lot out of it.