Well, I have to admit, I relate. Totally. I was off and on meds for years. The longest I was off meds was two years! Do you believe that? I thought everything was fine and all the doctors were wrong. But all the patterns were still there. The impulsiveness, going out on dates with all these online guys, casual sex, drinking, spending money. But then BAM! it hit me, all the voices came back and it sent me on a spiral whirlwind of emotion and chaos.

Point is bipolar is with us. Its a part of us. Denying it for a while is ok for some. But I realize I need medication. Without it I am a disaster. A manic disaster. I may be a little depressed now, but I would rather that than put my life in danger again. I am glad you are seeking help and back on pyschcentral. I hope to see more posts from you. Good luck!