I wasn't sure where to post this since I have so many issues. I may be diagnosed with schizoaffective and bpd, but I have to wait to see my pdoc.

When I was talking to my friend, the subject of my disabilities came up. I talked about how when I was a child I had so much happiness and felt so full of life, but it's gone now. After becoming bipolar along with other things, I noticed that full of life feeling went away. I can be happy, but it doesn't stay very long; it's a flick of light. I don't have depression so for the longest time I didn't know what it was. He told me that feeling is being numb/empty. I never thought of that since it sounds so negative, but it's true. For most of my teenage years I've been asking myself how and why this full of life feeling went away and how could I return it. Can this numbness go away or will it always stay with me? I'm not sure what disorder caused this numbness, does anyone know? It wasn't from my autism since I've been autistic all my life.