I'd like to have a deep and meaningful friendship/relationship, but then I'm scared they'll leave... maybe just acquaintances is better. I know what you mean about family, I do the same thing... I guess it's part of the idealization/devaluation of BPD.
Sorry to hear that for you and others it's gotten worse over the years. I have read a few places that it tends to get better over time (probably in middle age though).
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Originally Posted by Mustkeepjob32
I have BPD too and I'm 35. It's gotten worse over the years. I haven't been able to keep a job for a long time.
vitamin, it seems that you are doing OK. The fear of friendships is very normal in BPD. I am gay and I personally have a hard time having guy friends because I invariably "fall in love/lust" with them and this is very damaging to me.
Also, feeling like you don't deserve love from family is normal too. Sometimes I feel that way about my family and sometimes I feel like they are to blame for my BPD! Then of course I feel guilty for thinking that way...
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