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htebsiL radnalaS · Aug 27, 2013, 04:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sara.b

Hi all. I'm new here. I'm not sure where to start, but I'll just fill you in on my background and any advice would be appreciated.

I've been suffering from depression since my teens. I've been on all kinds of meds and various docs. I've had varying successes here and there, but I'm still just as isolated as the day I moved to this town.

I've moved far from my family (and it should probably stay that way....long story.) I don't have any friends. No boyfriend. My office is one big clique of people 10 years younger. In the past few years, I've had to go to the emergency room by myself (mortifying and scary experience.) When i got into a car accident, the policeman kept asking if I had someone to call for a ride and I had to say 'no'..much to his confusion. I had to put of a minor medical procedure because it requires an escort home that must sign off on my release. And those are just the big issues. There are moments all the time when I need some support, sometimes emotional, sometimes just a good laugh or an extra set of hands while doing a simple home repair, but there's no one.

I have some acquaintances that I see every couple months, but no one to really lean on. How do you call someone you haven't seen in 3 months to take you to the emergency room or give you an asap ride home?

My facebook is filled with high school classmates and some local acquaintances. I've stopped posting regularly. It's too depressing to see my 'friends' get 18 likes and 10 comments for the most trivial of status updates, then when I post a major event, and I'm lucky if I get a comment or two or a like. As pathetic as it sounds, my best (and only) friend is my dog and I'm so frightened because he's terminally ill.

When i do get an invite somewhere, I don't want to be the only one that shows up alone...especially when the host will be literally the only person there I know, so I don't go. I'm socially awkward enough around people I know...forget a room full of strangers. When someone asked me if I had help with all the packing and unpacking when I moved, I didn't wan to lie, but I was too embarrassed to say that I had to do every last bit myself.

Every time someone comes into my life that could be a friend, I'm so embarrassed that I don't have friends that I keep them at a distance so they don't find out...and the cycle continues.

I've been looking for a local depression support group, thinking that would be a good first step, but I can't find any in my area.

Sorry this got too long. I guess there were some things I just needed to get out.

Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.

I also moved far from my family and it was in part for my sanity.

I think when there is an emergency you call whoever. People like to feel helpful. I ask for help all the time from people who aren't friends. I often get a positive response. I asked for help from a friend I hadn't talked to in many many months. She couldn't help but I appreciated her sincere apology.

It isn't pathetic about you and your dog. I lost my two beloved furry friends recently and they were my longest relationship, 20 years! I'm not ashamed because I believe animals are better than humans are love and companionship. There are people in relationships, living with someone, who are closer to their furry pal.

I don't use facebook because I don't see the point. I don't have friends really and I certainly don't need to be on a site that is only going to make me feel bad about not having tons of friends. It's too superficial for me to think that anyone can have hundreds of friends.

I think it's good to find a support group. If not in real life, then online. One thing that has helped me a lot has been coming on this site. What has helped me the most has been writing responses to others. I talk about my own experience as it relates to their story and I always end up learning something about myself or reaffirming myself or validating myself. Like now, with you. I feel grateful for your post because it gave me an opportunity to give to myself.

The other thing is volunteering. Similar to helping here, volunteering helps me get out of myself by helping others who have less than I do. It also helps my own perspective on my life and helps me appreciate what I DO have.