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htebsiL radnalaS · Aug 27, 2013, 04:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by correl/salvation

Okay, so I need some advice on how to cope when I get back to school.

I haven't been since June 25th after a suicide attempt.

Since then I've seen people from my school about eight times, and each time they've approached me and took the 'water' out of me. Every time I see someone from my school or anyone who bears even a slight resemblance to someone from there, my heart beats fast and my palms get sweaty. I try to walk away as quickly as I can, I don't want to be anywhere near them.

What I'm scared of is breaking down in school and having them laugh at me, I'm scared because they might know things about me or they might think they do and I'm scared of getting mocked. I'm also really scared of being scared.

I'd really like some advice on how to cope when I go back to school... should I ask my art teacher if I can stay in her room at the breaktimes? I can go without lunch. It doesn't bother me.
But then would that make me pathetic, for hiding? Would they laugh at me more? What do I do if they see me? Laugh at me? Insult me?
What do I do about walking home, when the streets are infested with people from my school?

I actually had the chance to change schools but I didn't take it. Should I have? There's people that hate me in the other school I could have went to, and the schools are 5 minutes apart. I can see people waiting for me whichever school I go to. My family have said if I have trouble at my current school I can move to the other one after six weeks, but I like my lessons and teachers at the school I'm at now - it's just my fellow pupils I dislike.
Any advice on what to do when I get back?

I felt similarly at my job after being hospitalized once and being out on sick leave for months. I never disclosed anything about my depression. So it was a mystery to everyone. I had already been isolating myself at the job before...eating lunch in my classroom. It was really hard and I believe some people resented me. A few were kind and gentle. If people mock someone who has been in so much pain then they certainly aren't worth your energy. I know that is easier said than done. I don't know what grade you're in or how old you are. Not that it matters really. Just wondering. I believe there will be a few who will be caring and gentle. If staying in your Art teacher's classroom helps you then why not? Could it get worse if you stay in there? Or would it be a refuge for you? Is your teacher kind and supportive? I say why make it more difficult for yourself? if you have a safe place, use it.