Planejane, I am so glad you are taking care of yourself. My H was an monster for 18 years. I stayed. I get that you love him. My H and I have been in T for a year and a half now. Things have improved dramatically. He has been nice to me for 5 months now. I am still do afraid to believe that he will not go back to his old ways. But things are going better. Reguardless of what people say, once an abuser always an abuser, that is not always correct.

I am glad you got government assistance, and you are on birth control. No one can take control of your life but you. A diary is a great idea. I have records of the things my H did to me, the threats he made against my children. I to keep these notebooks as a reminder of what can happen. I remember and doubt I will ever forget.

I am so glad you are safe and things are going well. Please keep us updated, weather it is good or bad.