Suzy, basically boundaries are how we know and express the difference between ourselves and someone else. Think about the boundary between Indiana and Illinois. No "wall" there or even a river like some states have between but the people in Indiana know they send their tax money to Indianapolis and those in Illinois, to Springfield and if the Illinois police showed up just over the boundary in Terre Haute and tried to arrest someone, what would the Indiana police do?

I built walls around myself to keep everyone from crossing at all, treating them all like they might be those Illinois state police showing up in my West Terre Haute neighborhood :-) They showed up too often in my childhood (my stepmother was an angry, abusive, yelling "drill sergeant" :-) so I got to expecting them all the time. Sounds like you try to get away from your Illinois police by moving clean over to Dayton and insisting you're from Ohio :-) You have to find the Indiana police part of you and use that to "enforce" your boundaries.