I had the first mixed episode (than I can recall) August 20. I got so depressed that I was suicidal, but at the same time I was agitated and very irritable.
My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. On the 20th I got very drunk and called and called and called him on my cell phone. In the morning I looked at my cell phone and I had called 61 times. I only remember calling about 10 times. Fortunately his line was busy the whole time I tried to call him.
I passed out from the alcohol before I could commit suicide but I wrote a suicide note to my kids (and it made perfect sense when I read it in the morning). I passed out holding my high blood pressure pill bottle in my hand. I figured that they were the best bet, because I was almost out of my psych meds. And I passed out before I took my night time pills, so that was a good thing.
I woke up in the morning and said "What happened?" I couldn't believe what I did the night before and how I felt.