Quote:
Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart
You know acceptance is key. Its the same story for a lot of people not just us. I have been through so many doctors so many different diagnosis, poked prodded and drugged. You have to ask yourself, do you want to be another statistic where you are in and out of the hospital? I certainly don't that's why I have accepted my bipolar in and out.
I worry about the medication too, whether or not I will be forever numb, get too fat, etc, but I don't want to be experimented on any longer.
The key for me was finding the right pdoc to work with me, that way we can come up with a solution that will have the least amount of side effects, (I am currently on 4mg of Haldol and 10mg of Ambien to sleep. That seems to work for me. The sleeping thing is hard though. I am manic during the night which makes it almost impossible to hold down a job. But I am working on that too.
Don't worry, just stick to your meds and try and find yourself a good pdoc. Even if you have to go through a few. Find one that will work with you. I have been fortunate to find a good doctor.
Good luck to you!
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I also found a good doctor, I've been through quite a few as well, but had decided that I was ok and didn't need the meds or help anymore. It's that stupid stigma and feeling like I'm 'weak' if I have an illness I guess :-/
Very med sensitive here too, have been on around 15 different medications. Most of the non fatteners just made me have adverse reactions, haven't tried Haldol, last lot was Saphris, Abilify, Tegretol umm Seroquel seems to be one I can tolerate but not sure if I can in the long term as the weight gain plus I already have an ED as well (gotta love all these coexisiting conditions)
I haven't been able to hold down a job either, not without being ridiculously unreliable and also find I'm manic at night also. Actually considering not taking any meds tonight and turning up to the doc tomorrow out of my head. Maybe then they'll try get me back into my pdoc quicker lol. Bit of a weird way to think I know, and I can feel my thoughts going off in a million different directions as it's already coming up 1am here and yeah.. I think you know where I'm coming from lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Supanova
Thanks for sharing your story.
I keep going through phases of thinking there is nothing wrong with me and I dont need meds, I havent stopped taking them but your post has reminded me of what I would be going back to.
Hopefully if you do decide to go back on meds that you can find a good pdoc and a nice med combo that works for you. Im on Zeldox and lost nearly all of the seroquel weight (still not at premed weight but I am happy with it). Goodluck with what ever happens.
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Yeah hopefully me going off the rails (in a not great analogy) might help others when they're thinking of just stopping everything. I didn't even realise until today how manic I've been getting. I guess I saw the signs but just thought they'd pass and I was being dramatic or something. Even talked to my partner tonight about it and he has no idea about how bipolar works and some of the things he said just clicked into my brain about how manic I've been.
I'm not even sure what state I'm in now, maybe the end or a mixed episode? I feel a bit all over the place and my depression is definitely prominent as well as everything else.
As for meds, I've tried so many. Mainly in the anti d category but a few of the anti p's have had some adverse reactions. Saphris was awful, Abilify at even a quarter dose sent me straight to hospital and needed Lorazepam to get me over that reaction. But it's hard with the fattening ones as I have an ED as well. Maybe I can manage on Seroquel somehow, I don't know.
I'm totally just rambling now, I apologise! Thanks for the replies
