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Hi, guys. I'm new here, to this site, anyhow. I'm a 23-year old mother of one, who is 3 years of age.
I'm here because I've been contemplating something the last several months. As a teenager, around 14, I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, moderate depression, anorexia/BDD, and OCD. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with PTSD as well (which I know I do have, due to separate traumatic events that happened to me).
The point being, in the 6-8 months, I've really begun to notice a change in my symptoms. I have periods of 12 hours to 3 days where I'm in a great mood, have a ton of energy, clean constantly, want to talk alot. That's rarely, a couple of times a month. I sleep little to none at all, and my mind runs constantly about anything and everything. Nothing I do can slow it down except trying valium or klonopin and even then, it doesn't stop. barely puts a dent in it.
About 50% of the time, I just feel apathetic about everything, where I truly don't care about anything but my son. I take him out to do things but I'm not really "there." I smile, laugh, etc, but none of it's real. And the depression part of it worsens in the afternoon and evenings.
About the other 30% of the time, it's all day long. I feel completely worthless, like I don't deserve anything good or anything but bad. Like my son is literally the only thing that keeps me from doing something stupid to myself to just stop everything. I never would, for his sake, but I think about different ways I would if I didn't have him to keep me here. It gets really bad. I have no energy, severely depressed, anti-social, and either get extremely irritable and angry OR just silent and withdrawn altogether.
The insomnia/constant obsessive thinking happens during this phase too, normally in a very negative fashion. Alot of self hatred, disgust, etc.
These energetic episodes always follow the extreme lows then the middle ground comes before I hit the lows again. It never fails.
I just don't know if I might have somehow either had my GAD/depression/OCD transition into bipolar...if I was misdiagnosed as a teenager. I'm not sure anymore.
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