BPD- P for Personality.
I'm screwed on an intrinsic level, my perceptions, reactions and thoughts are skewed "naturally" not due to being in the midst of an episode.

Meds can assist to help me deal, but ultimately my brain needs to be rewired if I am to have healthy relationships with others. There is a constant inner turmoil to act, react and behave appropriately, acceptably. This wears me down like no other, because I essentially have to fight my nature on a daily basis.

Extreme fear of abandonment, identity disturbance and splitting is the order of the day...

# For clarity that ^ was the simplified version...

BP - I'm screwed episodically. Usually without just cause. I was suicidal for 10 days a week ago, and nothing made me wake up wishing for death, I just was.

I have both issues and while they may seem similar on the surface, they are very different at the core.
No splitting hairs at all. Trust me.