Something my T taught me might help with the "shoulds". She said just change it to "want". Like, instead of "I should be better at playing cards", change it to "I want to learn to play cards better." I know it has helped me ALOT. I do slip, but then I go back and try to change it.
Please do not give up! You are doing well by talking here. Sorry I don't have many more ideas, but I am here for you too.