It doesn't seem to me that it should be impossible for you to find the right person. Maybe you are looking for a companion to live with, sleep in the same bed with, and maybe just plain hold from time to time? Something closer than just plain friends, but not a lover. Someone who will not go out and have sex with someone else, just because they aren't having sex with you. I don't know. The fact that you exist, with the choices you are making, would suggest that it is possible for such a person to be out there. I could be completely wrong about what you are looking for, but it doesn't matter how wrong I am so long as you are clear in your own mind. What I would suggest is that you be careful to allow for the possibility that what you want may change over time. You need someone who can grow with you.