Lost Key,

Wow, a classic narcissist! The mirror story makes him a classic narcissist, because the original Narcissus saw his reflection in the stream...

...Look - this guy violated your privacy by disclosing things to his friends without asking for your permission. Suppose that the story he told your friends were true. STILL he should not have told it!!! He violated your privacy and betrayed your trust. That makes him an aggressor of sorts, and one does not try to get closure from an aggressor. No amount of narcissistic injury excuses telling such stories to his friends.

A case in point from personal experience - last weekend, I ran into one of my ex' friends and former colleagues. I would see this woman once every few years when I was married to my ex. So I ran into her and chatter with her near a grocery store, and I saw apprehension in her eyes when she was talking to me. That kind of apprehension was not present back when either she visited us or we visited her when I was married. Back then we had a nice cordial relationship.

I figured out that she was going through a cognitive dissonance because the impression she was getting from talking to me (I asked normal questions about her son who is now in college, etc. - as would be appropriate when you run into somebody this way) was in a stark contrast with the tales my ex must be telling (that I am the craziest person on this planet).

So your ex is spreading gossip and weaving tales - let us call a spade a spade.