I've had some real depression and suicidal thoughts, not at the moment, but recently and recurring the past few years. I love my friends, but they have no idea about my problems, as I've never told anyone until now, and have been hiding it brilliantly.
I wouldn't leave the house during my most depressive episodes, so my friends would see me at my best, usually. Today I decided to try to confide in one of my friends, not about my depression, but about my suspicions about being bipolar, and my family history of it. She was politely dismissive, telling me that she didn't think there was anything wrong with me, and that the NHS probably wouldn't treat mental illness unless I was a harm to myself or others (Suggesting I was being melodramatic, which is hypocritical considering she has had the most unnecessary foot surgery recently to realign her toes which were causing her no problems in the first place) However I AM a danger to myself.

I don't blame her, as this just confirms how little anyone seems to know about me, even those who claim to be my closest friends. What I don't understand is how nobody has a clue. I may have tried to hide my emotions, and censor my speech, but I have been caught on many an occasion crying uncontrollably for no apparent reason.

This illustrates my fears about going to a doctor. Every time I've been to the doctor, whether it be for joint pain, cramping, insomnia, or stress; I have been patronised, told to exercise, given generic painkillers, and sent on my way. Nobody takes my problems seriously, which is why I am so scared to tell them. I'm moving out in a month, and I'll be moving practices as well. I can't face the GP's in this town. The first thing I'll do when I move is ask to be referred to a psychiatrist. I have no idea how they will react. I'm so used to being dismissed. I'm begging for support. Why does no one take me seriously?

Today has just confirmed that I have no real friends. People who consider me their closest friends know nothing of my life. I chose to try to open up today, and was made to feel so melodramatic.
I'm sick of it. I've spent my life giving out empathy, I only asked for a little back today. This just illustrates how shallow every relationship I have ever made is.

The question is, how can I explain my situation to the doctor without the inevitable dismissal?