It's hard to even explain all the emotions and feelings but for me the most noticeable changes on a day to day basis is that I could feel generally energetic one day, and drained the next. I wouldn't say 'hyperactive' but just more enthusiastic and that energy might last a few days, but not always. And then what could be the next day, I just feel exhausted and irritated the whole day. Usually would start with be not being able to get out of bed and even if i oversleep, i'll still have no energy. Days like this I can be more 'unstable' emotionally and could easily get into a really depressed kind of mood with the right trigger but whether or not that happens, the exhaustion/irritation will stay with me the whole day. Being drained like that would probably last at most, 2 days, i never exactly recorded my moods but all of this is an educated guess

On any given week I could have a few days of being energetic, a few days being down and then the rest could just be a generally 'balanced' mood, when any of these happens is random for the most part but it all happens often. I've noticed though on 'balanced' or 'energetic' days with the right kind of trigger my mood can still plummet into one of those depressed moods, minus feeling exhausted, but I would be really irritated/angry, silent, and even have these racing suicidal thoughts. It won't usually last the whole day, only a few hours because i'd bounce back eventually but it's still definitely a noticeable change, and almost always was triggered by 'something', and what happens seems to be blown out of proportion.

Some other info is that -even if- I feel energetic or in a generally 'balanced' mood, i'll still be irritable and easily angered if that makes sense, i might even say slightly sad, and this is almost constant, possibly could be the environment i'm in. Energetic or not i'll still feel like this and even have outbursts (verbal) a few times a week at family, whether it's over a small issue or not the outbursts are magnified and more intense than they have to be. If I was in one of those depressed moods all of this would basically be intensified.

And I actually just started seeing a pdoc just last week and we just started going over everything briefly and the whole possibility of this being bipolar was because when I started talking about my moods he mentioned how maybe there was a chance I had it, even more so because my aunt has it. But there was a lot to talk about so hopefully in the next few appointments we can get more specific about things. I'll try to keep a mood chart to record everything and someone else mentioned BPD too and it actually seems a lot more possible for me to have it, more possible than having bipolar disorder