Oh, sweetie, you are singing my song!!

Like you, I wasn't diagnosed until comparatively late in life (age 53), when a series of stresses basically tipped me over. I've probably been bipolar since childhood, but it was subthreshold for a good portion of my life and only really "woke up" about 3 or 4 years ago.

And it came on with a VENGEANCE. My diagnosis went from BP-NOS to BP 2 to BP 1 after a series of manic episodes dispelled whatever doubts my pdoc had in the beginning. I fought it tooth and nails until late this spring, when we finally found the right combination of meds; and other than a breakthrough manic episode in July and another uptick in my AP, I've been very stable (even though my life is going to hell in the proverbial handbasket right now). My main concern right now is whether my current med regimen will hold me for awhile, or if I'll need continual upwards adjustments until I max out and then need even MORE meds.

Cognitively, I used to be very bright and prided myself on my intellectualism; now I'm having to retire from nursing a decade early because I can't remember stuff, can't retain new information, can't concentrate, can't help getting distracted. I don't trust myself to hold a patient's life in my shaky little hands anymore. I too have serious anxiety issues, just like my mother and sister developed in THEIR mid-50s, and that doesn't help.

I feel ya, emomom! Hope it helps to know you're not alone.