Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam2
I can think of a couple of reasons for his behavior. If he feels more at home in America, then coming back home may cause him to feel lost and depressed. When you are with him in America, does he seem normal?
The second is that he might be unsure of the relationship. That doesn't necessarily mean that he is seeing someone else. Saying that you will be free to walk away is hard to interpret. Depressed people sometimes feel that they are a burden to their partners or that they are worthless and don't deserve to have anyone. For those that are not sure of a relationship, they may not be able to say that they want out of it. They need the other person to be the "bad guy".
Either way, it sounds like you both need to have a serious talk with each other. If he is clinically depressed, then he needs help. To be honest, he seems confused. If America was were he wanted to be, he wouldn't just spend the time laying in a motel room for a week. This seems to be wearing on you, it would on anyone, and until you get to the bottom of what is going on, you won't feel good.
Sam2
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Thanks Sam,
No he's not from America, he is australian same as me. When in America, riding around on a motorbike, not a care in the world, he seems to be able to forget about his problems. I am not one of his problems. He was in America 3 weeks before I arrived as I still had business to finish over here before I could leave. And he was hanging out for me to get there, we were emailing several times a day and talking on the phone. I guess he can escape from reality over there.
His reality, according to him, is no job, no prospects, and money gradually running out. He feels unworthy of me, in his words 'pathetic' and why would I want him.
I've proved how much I love him time and time again and most of the time he is accepting of this, but when his depression takes over he doesn't feel he deserves the type of happiness I offer.
Not once has he said he doesn't want to see me again. Not once has he said he wants to end the relationship. Not once has he denied that he loves me. I think he thinks he is doing the right thing for ME by telling me to walk away, maybe he thinks I deserve better, but can't do the 'dumping' himself because he deep down doesn't want the relationship to end, he wants me to stay.
In America, he was the perfect attentive boyfriend, loving and caring, holding hands, cuddling, looking after me....