Sounds to me as if your ex is very lonely and has made the boys his on little support group. I agree it does sound strange them sleeping in the same bed with him at their age. Do you suspect any child abuse going on? If you do, you need to report it. If you don't think they are being abused they will start to want their independence soon. Have you asked them how they feel about it? Having lunch with them seems to be a lonely man trying to fill his days with something positive for himself. He may not be thinking of it from the boys outlook. Have you asked him if maybe he could cut it down to only 2 or 3 days a week? I'm sorry, I seem to have more questions than answers.