Oh RustyStar,

It breaks my heart to hear you struggling so. I wish I could help in some way.
When I get depressed, I shut the world out, and stay in bed and all I want to do is sleep. I don't want to be around people. It sounds like that's where you are right now. Are you on any meds for depression? If not, you might want to try. I had to try several different kinds but once the doc figured it all out, I am much better.
Wishing the best for you,
Linda