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I think your ex needs therapy. I feel he is doing a disservice to the children by having them sleep in his bed, or even offering it, when they were sleeping in their own room when you were still together.
Good for you in keeping the bedroom boundary.
I understand he is lonley, but most of us have felt lonely. It is too much pressure for the children..and once the oldr one starts to pull away, nornal for adolescence, how will ex handle the "rejection"?