You are NOTTTTTTT crazy! I can relate to feeling that way too. Luckily I have a good therapist who reminds me that I have bipolar by no fault of my own. Same for all of us. I hope you find some solace and understanding in the books you purchased. Kudos to you for buying them and doing something to help yourself....not always an easy thing to do. Have you ever heard of Julie Fast? She has BP herself and writes good books about it.