Wow, some of what you are talking about sounds remarkably similar to some problems we've had. Based on what you're saying, it sounds to me like you are both at fault fairly equally.

An example of this is, my wife used to give off this non-verbal communication that she was upset, but when I would ask, she'd say nothing is wrong... even though what was wrong was she wanted me to take out the trash... but never asked me to do it. I'd go around the house all day knowing something was pissing her off, but she wouldn't tell me, she'd deny it, even though I knew she was upset. In the end what she was upset over, was something I'd totally do, if she asked.

The bottom line is that for things around the house, or with the kids... you do have to respect his opinion. My wife often tries to overrule me, and sometimes it forces me to stand my ground, I do have 50% say, but she really takes control of it. In the end it really annoys me that she does that because it makes me feel like my say doesn't count.

So if you want him to do something, you have to ask, but be prepared for him to say no... he may have a different plan than you, and he may have all of his own reasons for the plan... like going to work. I do think it is disrespectful of you to question him when he is planning on working, to provide for you and your child.... you shouldn't throw it out at him that he doesn't spend time with you... because in his mind, he's doing what he thinks needs to be done FOR YOUR benefit. It's partially your fault for not telling him a few days before that you wanted to spend time with him... plan it out, don't wait until after he's made up his mind what he wants to do.

Guys we're really simple quite frankly, we want to know our wife loves us, respects us, and appreciates what we do. In the end, you really should ask him what his needs are in the relationship, and make sure you are giving him what he needs.... conversely he should do the same.

If you can keep your cool, even after he starts yelling, that will be better. Sure people can get snappy at each other... you probably do it too sometimes... just let that stuff roll, and rather than say something back, you can do something physical, like grab his hand or hug him and ask him as nicely as possible to NOT do that.... basically try to defuse the problem before it turns into a shouting match.

All of this stuff can get better... both of you need to mature and respect each other!