I eat this way to cope. From another post I made:

"Starving myself made me lose weight and make me feel better about myself. It also gave me a new, controllable pain that was not related to depression that distracted me. No med has came close to this: they make me gain weight and do little to help my depressive phases."

I have lost some weight but now I'm gaining again. It's not healthy. I know. But it helps me cope with my depression more than any of the dozens of meds I've been convinced to take.

No one gives me any replacements for my coping skills. They just say "This is bad, Stop now."

I am depressed and sobbing near every moment I am awake. I have little to no control over panic attacks and down times. I suffer and hate being alive. I cannot just magically be happy or say to myself to 'hold on'. It's far past that point and I have been taking measures to improve my mood. And every single one has been labeled as bad or unhealthy. But no alternatives are given.

I understand your concerns. But what you are saying is what I always hear when I talk to someone about my issues: "No. You are wrong."