I totally get it.

Even people who I'm fairly close to... well... I don't really trust them. I might go through all the actions of trusting someone... but I don't. I don't confide anything to them that is really too personal to me - only things that I know how to handle on my own or have already sorted out. I also keep my friendships sorta separated by where I am in my bipolar cycle.

I found that the best way for me to handle the anxiety of being judged... was to do the very best I could to fit in. So I look and dress pretty average, and I am quite friendly and appear to be very social and outgoing.

I'm sorry that you weren't able to join that class I hope that it starts up again and that you could be successful in going to it!! What sort of class was it?