I have had so many failed relationships, most of them being budding romances that I snip right at the get-go.

I haven't felt a real connection with anyone in so long, I'm starting to think that I'm not capable of it anymore. No one seems good enough, even though I know intellectually there is nothing wrong with them, they have good qualities, they adore me, treat me nicely.. It starts with me feeling very sweetly about them, being friends then dating and sleeping with each other, then suddenly something switches in my brain and I want nothing to do with them. I can't get away from them soon enough, I cringe and shrink away from their touch, they are pathetic, they're clingy, they're suffocating me, and I have just changed my mind completely. I start to ignore them, reject their calls, block them on Facebook, etc., in my efforts to keep them away.

I have hurt a lot of guys this way but I don't know how to prevent it from happening when it truly is a complete change of heart that I can't seem to account for. I can't control it.

Now that I want to find a companion who will be around, do things with me, hold me, understand who I am, go places with me, and to do the same for them. I don't think the right person will ever come along.. and I don't know, even if they did, if I would be capable of loving them.

I'm just feeling lonely and lost.. Anyone else have feelings/experiences like this?