You are going to have to be straight with the dr or they wont be able to treat your symptoms correctly, and if you are having thoughts of suicide then you arent safe unless the person you are with knows and can watch for you. The last mixed episode I had I saw my ther twice that week, the pdoc once to tweak meds and my husband was there to watch me. I saw the drs again the following week too. I was very close yo admitting myself though.