So he didn't buy the tickets, he says he wants me to be absolutely sure.

How do I be absolutely sure I want to run away from everything I know. When is the right time for that really? There isn't.

Anyhow. Reality check.

Think I might text him let him know i'll visit when I can after my money comes, but not impulsively like this. I don't know where my mind was.

This is gonna happen again... I've got to do damage control on yesterday now. I'm f**king up left and right.

Didn't call doctors office, I crashed and slept a bit and by the time i woke up they were closed. Called my school's therapist and they couldn't get me in til next week so I didn't set up anything at all.

I need to reschedule the appointment for sure. My meds are definitely not working. Kinda feel like hospitalization might be necessary but I really don't wanna. I'm safe for now.