KCJ;
I hope that you will take the other's advice about getting some help; there are many others who face the same struggles that you do; there is a special forum here (Self-injury) for the support of those who self-inflict. I hope that you will feel welcome to post thoughts of self-harm there.
Jon

KICK THE CABLE HABIT!!! http://www.vmcsatellite.com/?aid=84152