Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
As my late grandmother used to say, again and again:
"everything for the better"
You are just not seeing it now, but it IS for the better - her reaction was a Litmus test that she did not pass. Sure she was entitled to leaving her wedding dress and the travel souvenirs behind to make a dramatic, poignant statement to you - she sure was entitled to that and I am not blaming her FOR THAT. But she wasn't entitled to involve the kids the way she did, and it simply did not reflect well on her. So in the long run, you will be better off not married to her. Plus, given that your emotional needs are higher than those of an average person, and, that she was uniquely ill-equipped to meet them (=her ability to meet emotional needs is much lower than that of an average person), the chances that your next woman will have more warmth for you are statistically high. In other words, you were uniquely ill-suited for one another.
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Thank you. I agree with your comments about depression too. I am not only giving up time with my kids (and sharing a roof with them, for now), I just realized I had the last night with my (ex) wife -- likely forever, and with my youngest son for 1-2 years
. She rejected anything my attorney put forth. She has told me she wants this thing wide open in court, drug through the mud, etc. Re: medication, my MD and my therapist share an office.
Edit (added) I am on Xanax (1mg XR 2x daily, plus 1mg regular PRN, and Mertazapine, dosage escapes me, but I will check). I am still waking up at 4:30. About to head upstairs, take my son to go get coffee (last morning in who knows how long) and I don't give a hoot how mad she gets. I don't have much time left with them without "her controlling" as the primary caregiver. As of now, equal parents in the same house. Signing off.
I am in the process of making changes to my living arrangements that will save me a lot. It will be depressing on multiple fronts, but I think it has to be done. It means selling our dream home -- the one the kids would grow up in, have sleepovers in the great room, the amazing yard & deck for entertaining, etc., etc.. I am just sad that very little in my life is NOT changing. I guess I am keeping a car and my pups
. This was their forever home... We shopped for 18 months to find it. Dream home, yard, schools, location, etc..
She moves out today, and I move out as soon as it sells.
I know a lot more about my needs now, about who I am, but I still have a long way to go.
I just wish she hadn't painted me so black - SO much hatred for me. I hope it doesn't have long term ramifications on the kids.
She told me last night that she is 100% blame-free in the failure of our marriage. 100% of it is my fault. I guess that helps me see more about her issues...