Actually, I am learning through therapy that you can kick that pessimist out. He is just one of your many parts, and right now he is flexing his muscles. Have a conversation with him, tell him you know that he is trying to protect you from getting hurt (because that's probably what he is trying to do) but you need him to just step back and let you handle this. It's a theory called Internal Family Systems developed by Richard Schwartz, Ph.D. and it is amazing. Ask you T about it, or go on line and look for information. It has helped me a bunch to learn to deal with all my "parts", especially when I am having a "part attack". And hugs to you as well...It's gonna be good, I just know it.