In the midst of our problems and our challenges in life I think that many of us tend to put on a pair of clouded glasses and begin to really hate the world around us, and more specifically with the difficulties of having bpd and our ways of tearing up relationships we begin to really not like other people, thinking no one understands, or accepts us or a plethora of other things we think of other people. We shrink back, hide and isolate ourselves from the terrible world around us. and when we do have to be in public we do it quickly, and once past our anxiety ridden journey we rush back to our own world of hiding...

But once in awhile, our thinking can be challenged. Like it has been for me.

There are people out there that do care, understand and are compassionate enough to help. yeah I'm here to tell you that we on this board are not the only ones that care for us. Sometimes they are hard to find but they are out there.

I too have a distrust for most people and am suspicious of the motives of everyone I don't know well enough to call my friend. I have been there and done that, and I still have a challenge when it comes to this. But like I've said sometimes people can challenge my thinking and this is my post to acknowledge those people.

All of you here on the forums of course are not left out of this list because without this forum, the people and the staff I would not be where I am today. Sure it's true that I've had to stand on my own but this has not been in a void, in a vacuum where there I stood completely alone but with much encouragement and support and some of you (you know who you are) have gone over and above what anyone has done to help me... so thanks.

But outside of this online forum there have been many over the psat 13-14 months where people without obligation, have gone out of their way to make my life easier or help me to go a step further in my journey. The first one was my manager at the hotel where I've been staying for months on end. Not only did she overlook the fact that I have two kids that are younger than allowed to stay in the hotel alone by their rules.. but also took into account my pending divorce difficulties and the fact that I have been a single father all this time almost 100% of the time.. she rented the double room at a discounted single rate and to this day I cannot even begin to say how grateful I am.

I have had people loan me a few bucks here and there and help me in other ways and it has helped me to realize people aren't "inherently bad" but truly a lot more wiling to help and lend a hand where needed, but I just... never asked.

The one thing that has compelled me to write this today is that tomorrow, I go and take care of a lot of things that i need to to get my car on the road again and become mobile again. A co worker, only associated with me by the fact we ride the same bus and work in the same building, has offered to take me all around the area to take care of these things, going as far as taking the day off to do so. It's not a small task, as it will probably take half the day. I don't know him outside of riding the bus yet as we talked and he found out my situation he offered to do this for me when I was ready. This blows me away as he has no obligation to help me at all. We don't even work in the same group in our division.

Just wanted to put this out there, for you all.. there is hope. There are people out there that won't shun you, ridicule you and try to hurt you. There are strangers in our midst that would be willing to give us a leg up if only we ask... so I tell ya. Don't give up. keep trying!

hope this is helpful!
S4