13 years ago - I started acting out of character. Severe alcohol and drug abuse. Illusions of grandeur. I believed I could read peoples minds.

When I stopped the drug and alcohol abuse the symptoms were;

Ups : 2-4 days with only 2-3 hours sleep at night. Full of energy and amazing epiphanies. Talking at the speed of light. Irritation. i also become a stand up comedian... I real extrovert. I am actually a creature of comfort and a home body

Downs : Sleeping days on end. Poor hygiene. No ambition. Lethargic. Cynical. Avoided people. did not enjoy any of the things I use to love doing - basically zombie mode. I prayed i would die in my sleep. I neglected important aspects of everyday life, family, work and friends . no energy

THEN OF COURSE YOU GET THE EPISODE:

Here you crash and harm either yourself or people around you....
Be it physically or mentally. Signs of self destructive behavior.
Here who have to be careful for self full fulling prophesies, due to feelings of guilt and shame. Don't allow those thoughts in your mind. I made a mistakes, i learned from them and i got help. I can't have a future If I live in the past.

I have learned what triggers me and try to channel it. Hell it is not always easy but it is possible