It makes alot of sense, alexandra.

I agree that slow is better...especially at first with a new therapist.

I felt/feel alot as you do with my main self being the primary focus in therapy. I was afraid to "stir the pot". It turns out that my instinct on that, and the stance I took there, was the right one for me in the long run...if I could only take it so far. However, even though I'd made that choice, I didn't always get what I wanted. My therapist agreed with my wishes, but made it clear that he would hear anything any part of me needed to say. We were able to come to an agreement on moving forward.

Telling my therapist about my desires there, though, helped so much because he understood my wishes and filled me in on anything that I didn't recall which I'd asked him to do.

I had to realize that I only had so much "control" there... That's when I had to work through the trusting of my therapist is handle "whatever" and fill me in to increase my awareness and understanding.

I wish you so well and don't hesitate to PM anytime.

KD