I'll try and keep this short, I have been cutting since 12 and spent most of my teens depressed with a few short hypos (lasting 3-4 weeks). When I was 18 the cutting was discovered, I was diagnosed with major depression and the and meds started. I got triggered into mania by anti depressants and was admitted to hospital, I ran a muck for a few weeks until they got it undercontrol. I dont remember too much from that time but I do remember racing up and down the stairs, cartwheeling down the hall, putting laundry powder in the fountain etc. My diagnosis was changed to Bi Polar II. For a few years I was on all sorts of medications, alcohol and drugs so my moods were erratic. I never had full blown mania but a few hypos (3-8 weeks) that varied in strength. It felt like I had a lot of energy, but good energy, I would flitter from activity to activity, be extremely social, promiscuous, brave and gutsy doing many things I would normally not do. I spent a lot of time in depression but medicated up to the eyeballs. I wouldnt move, I would stay in bed all day and all night, when it was really bad I wouldnt eat, but if it was less severe I would put on weight as I would eat and sleep and that was all. Finally after going through a lot of doctors, hospitals and medications I quit them all. But then came the mixed episode. It was nothing like I had felt before, this extreme agitation and red hot fire in my chest, I felt like I was going to explode with energy but I was so sad at the same time. I went back to the pdocs and I have finally found a med combo that works for me and has kept me stable for 2 and a half years. Now I feel is the time to really get to know myself and find out as much as I can to combat the next episode. Hope this helps