Hey KD. Yeah, I guess slow is better. I guess I'm starting to realise some of why they keep saying that it is important to go slow and build trust etc. He also has a different theoretical orientation than I'm used to and so communication is a bit harder... Also... We really are still getting to know each other. I guess I just felt like... In the last session in particular... He just wanted to talk to me about them. He seemed interested in them. In what they were like and stuff. Laughed at some of their antics etc.

He didn't take such an interest in me. I tried to talk to him about a friend that I'm concerned about. He answered fairly abruptly and diverted the issue back to them. Maybe I'm... Jealous? I just think that I have many problems... If those are dealt to them maybe this issue will recede... I don't know... I worry that I'm telling / making up stories half the time. I really don't know. I'm worried that elaborating on them makes me worse / makes them stronger / makes them more distinct / encourages them. I don't want to go that way. But then I guess that I feel like I hit a brick wall when clinician's don't want me to talk about them. So maybe... What I need changes. And really... How is he supposed to know what I need if I don't tell him? I guess the problem is that I'm not really so in tune with what I need. And I really have been very concerned to show him that I'm grateful and that I'm trying hard to do the work and to answer his questions and stuff. I think that maybe... He likes their spirit. I don't know. I will talk to him. One more session and then he is off two weeks over Christmas. I'll tell him I don't want to talk about them next week. I think that maybe what he is trying to do... Is that he figures that I trust him fairly much (which I'm trying hard to convey because I want him to want to work with me). I've also told him that they are still sussing him out, however. I think he is trying to earn their trust whereas really... I guess it is mine. I don't know. Confusing I guess...

Thanks KD. PM me if you want to / need to as well.