Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoda
You say in your initial post that you often feel uneasy and he is often angry/unhappy. You excuse that by saying he is under a lot of stress. Well stress is a normal part of the human condition and don't think that he will be under less stress in five, ten or thirty years from now. If he is taking his anger out on you that is unhealthy for you both. I am wondering if he is emotionally abusive. I don't have enough information to know at this point but I do think if I were you I would proceed slowly in this relationship and not make a commitment until he changes some of his behaviors.
Does he do any of the behaviors on the wheel? He doesn't have to be hitting you to be abusive. Emotional abuse is abuse too.
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Yeah, I know that everyone has stress. But, I have to admit that his is pretty extreme. He is like the bad luck kid. Honestly, I've never seen so many things go wrong for one person. He is physically healthy thank God for that though. Believe me, we've discussed if he has caused any of his own problems and I believe he has...but, this doesn't make things any less stressful.
I don't see too much on the wheel that concerns me, although some of the ways he talks to me would be considered emotionally abusive. However, as some have posted above, there is a likelihood that some of my language comes off as accusations. Not in the "I provoked him, so I made him mistreat me" kind of way, but in a way that I fully acknowledge might provoke someone else to a level of frustration, if not anger. He is never physically intimidating (when he's angry, he's more likely to just walk out of the room)...it's more yelling when I'm speaking in a normal tone of voice. However, what I think may be a simple conversation may have hidden underlying accusations.
For now, a cooling off period is in order.