Urg. I have to hide so many parts of myself. If I say I'm struggling with suicide, I'm locked up in a mental ward for weeks. If I say I'm an atheist, I'm told that I need to turn to Jesus and I'm probably in such a bad way because I reject his love. It's frustrating. I don't care how religious you are, people should never do that.

Today though I plan on going to a facility that has social activities and groups for people like me and it's free for those getting mental help in the county, which I am.

I really hope they don't mind me crying. That seems to be a big things in many places I have been to: If you are crying you are treated like some 5 year old freak that needs to be kept away from everyone else. It's really painful. I cry alot yes but I am still trying to get help. I don't want to have to sit in a room with some nurse while she tells me how pretty sun rises and trees are because my crying is seen as disruptive.