Perhaps it's redundant to proclaim, but it's rather true, RJ: You really aren't alone here.

Everything you described serves as a reminder of what I've been struggling with my entire life, too. Okay, not my 'entire' life, but since I was six years old, because I can't remember a time I didn't suffer from these symptoms from that age onward. I'm glad you've sought professional help; I'm relatively new to my diagnosis, so even though this has been going on for much of my life (along with other mental health issues), I've little to offer in the way of insightful information or coping skills. I reckon the best thing to do is continue seeing your specialist for your needs, because we often cannot do it alone. I used to live with the same fear that I had to harbor what I deemed as my own shameful secret because I came from a family that opted to 'sweep things under the rug' than actually talk about and remedy them; it's never too late to learn how to let these secrets out and then learn to cope with them. I, too, am twenty six, but I waited a long twenty years before I sought help (unfortunately, I already made some terrible choices before seeking help). I wish you all the best, RJ, because like everyone who has commented, and anyone who will comment afterward, you are not alone. More importantly, there are ways to get through this and live your life. Best of luck.

-G