Thank you OE and MJ for your responses and insight. I was given the diagnosis of bipolar and ptsd, but I have yet to speak further with my therapist. I do have an appointment with the psychiatrist on the 11th of next month for medication; currently on lamictal, was weened off lithium (never felt worse than when I was taking it), so I'll consult him. I'm aware many people are often misdiagnosed at the first go, and it may take some time to figure out the best plan for me, and what exactly I'm dealing with. I think with my family history of both depression and BD, and the mood cycles I was/am going through, a diagnosis of BD seemed likely, but I feel like I'm being made to jump through hoops and being wrung out of all I have left in me if I'm being given a sloppy diagnosis. I want to feel better and cope, but I don't want a hasty label slapped on me just to get some meds that seem to only work half of the time, if at all. Perhaps I'll gain better clarity in my next appointment. I really appreciate the kind words and thoughtful insight you both provided me, though. Thank you.