Have you noticed him turning the TV up louder lately of talking louder himself. Both could be signs of hearing loss. Does he ask you to repeat youself? Have you suggested he be tested for hearing loss or is that something he isn't willing to talk about? His defensive and aggressive manner makes me think it may be more than hearing loss, but I'm not a doctor so I don't know. Just remembering how my dad was when his hearing started to go.

Sorry you are having to go through this. I know it must be tough on you.