I found the best solution is to wait and see the partner in person.

My boyfriend told me several times that getting phone bombed upsets him because its too easy to misinterpret what Im telling him. I have gotten in the habit of *trying* to wait and tell him things in person. He told me I tend to consider his feelings more when were talking in person. I experience some bpd traits and have learned this in the 6 years we've been together. I am also fairly defensive for no reason and have a skewed perception of the world when I get into an episode. Plus bringing up problems before bedtime is never smart. (Tool me 5 years to learn this!) Its all about learning the other persons responses and adjusting accordingly.