I am appalled reading this.

"they said I was raised by wolves, I had no social skills, did not know how to interact, that I didn't come anywhere near his family's standards"

So, a good rule to go by for the rest of your life:

People who TRULY have high standards would NEVER say that another person is not anywhere near their standards.

People who TRULY have good social skills would NEVER tell you that their brothers hate you and cannot stand you.

People who have TRULY good manners would not break up over the phone the way he did.

People who are TRULY mature decide whom to date by themselves without obtaining advice from their brothers and their brothers' girlfriends.

People who have TRULY good manners would not leave out a guest by speaking betwixt each other during a gathering.

People who are TRULY "well-bred" are never racists.

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None of this is remotely connected with sex.

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All of this is entirely obvious and should have been obvious to you.

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So the question is how it was not obvious to you.

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Do not contact him - he failed miserably and failed spectacularly, and you have absolutely no reason to reach out to him.

Be happy that he demonstrated his true colors so early in the relationship, so you did not waste much time.

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I am a little unsure about whether your therapist is a good fit for you. Did you tell the story to the therapist? This is because I did not even address EVERY spectacular failure of his guy - what with his telling you that you were SUPPOSED to have sex whereas he should have thanked you for helping to clean up after dinner, and many more - it would take one an hour and a half to write down every spectacular faux pas the guy committed. So I am wondering why you posted even though you are in therapy - I am wondering how the therapist did not mention any of those obvious things to you.

Or did you not tell the therapist everything in as great a level of detail as in the OP?

Just wondering. But do not contact the guy ever - that is for sure!!!