After a long relationship with my live-in violent boyfriend who died tragically I have enjoyed the 6 years of peace alone with my horse. I have not been lonely. My best friend (a guy) has started telling me I need a boyfriend. I keep telling him what I need is a job. I have had several men come on to me this year. Either I wasn't attracted or I was just plain turned off, like the last guy who bragged about hitting his horse in the head when it acted up. I said that was a pretty dumb thing to do because not only was it mean but it would make the horse distrustful and act worse. When he defended his position I said nothing. I just turned around and walked up the sidewalk, into my house and shut the door leaving him standing in my yard wondering what had happened. Idiot!

So anyway now my best friend is trying to hook me up with a friend of his. I have met him a few times and am comfortable talking to him. The best thing I like about him is he comes with references: if my best friend of 17 years likes him he must be okay. So we have talked about getting together for some intimate fun. I have been pretty slow to warm up to it, not answering the phone because I wasn't sure, etc. But yesterday we spent the afternoon together at my friend's house and I found myself attracted to him. This is scaring me. I was codependent in my last relationship and I don't want to go there again. I am afraid if I dip my toe in the pool I will fall in. How do you keep a relationship healthy?