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transientsoul · Aug 30, 2013, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronzeowl

It was hard reading your post because your situation sounds very similar to my own. We, too, are living at poverty level. My mom makes about $100 a week on average, I make only about $60. Rent is $350. Math and... yeah. She and I live together and we, too, can be harsh to each other. I think it's the stress of being in our situation. Often we're told to be grateful we don't live in a third world country. Or to realize others have it worse. That isn't fair. Just because others have it worse, doesn't mean it isn't hard for us, too. It doesn't mean we don't think about those who have it worse (in fact, it is one of my triggers as thinking people have it worse than me depresses me greatly).

Food stamps can be hard to balance... You end up buying cheap things. Things full of carbs. Boxed foods made with corn syrup. I hate that people judge you for that. I hate that they do. I understand why you have to. Because we have to, too. I haven't been wanting to eat because of it. I'm the opposite of your son in that respect. We have pets, too. We got them all *before* it happened. People judge us sometimes. But pets are for life. Besides, I'm not sure either of us would still be here if not for them. We do have to get help taking care of them occasionally. I have an online friend. She loves animals. She often sends food for them. Bless her heart...

My point in all of this is that... I understand. I know our situations aren't exactly the same, but I wanted you to know that you're not alone. Your words could have just as easily been written by my own mother and that struck a cord in me.

I really get where you're coming from with this line. Money may not buy total happiness, but I'd rather be unhappy knowing with 100% certainty I will have a home next week.

Thanks for the reply BronzeOwl. You might get a chuckle to know I was going to address you by your forum name initials as such, but that made B.O. and then I was going to use BOwl, but that is the word Bowl.... so hey, here we are.

When I think of others in places and situations that have it worse than me, does it make me feel better? No of course not and like you, it may actually make me feel worse both for them and because I say to myself that I have no right to complain. Sometimes that self admonishing helps, really, but yeah, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, more often than not I find myself saying you know, I'm not asking to have a million dollar mansion with 3 Bentley's in the driveway. I'm not asking to even have a frigging Lexus in the driveway!! But when like tonight it is a warm summer dusk falling and I drive through a moderately nice neighborhood, I see a split-level early 80's house and think, see... I'd be happy with that, just that, and money enough to pay my obligations relatively on time. That's it.

Isn't that the American Dream?

What happened to the American Dream? Ask the politicians, ask the powers-that-be, ask the frigging gypsy fortune teller in the arcade for all I care. Poverty is hard. In some ways, it's supposed to be motivationally hard. Hey if it was easy, a lot of people would choose it - and there are many, including myself at times that argue in our country that is exactly what's happening. There needs to be more I don't know, regulation or inspection of who's getting what and if they really should be getting it. For instance the baby mama who keeps cranking out kids to be on the system: Should she get more food stamps than me, if I am disabled and can't work and that has been medically verified? Shouldn't it be, hey, we pay for 2 kids, period, that's it. Done. I think so, but they don't ask me to sit on the committee. Anyway, that's another rant altogether. Just sayin.

A better subject? My pets - particularly the little darling in my signature, are my life. Without them well... I would have no excuse to stay physically, mentally or otherwise. I would feel no obligation to anything or anyone, and while sometimes that is absolutely what I want - on the other hand if it saves me from slicing my throat open or who knows what, then it's probably a good thing I have pets. They are my "well behaved children" (

Except for today?!) and I love them dearly. I have friends that help me with them too and organizations, and my appreciation for them is boundless.

Good luck to you bowl. (lol) and thanks for stopping by my thread here. It's been a long hard day. (Flea wars, and my other little darling peed on my bed!) so it's nice to see there is yet another person in the crowd that can identify. Misery loves company you know.