When I was in band I started to look around at the 11 members of my section and realized that I wasn't as good as I should be... Now, I know should thinking can be judgmental thinking.... besides that I felt inadequate. There was two freshmen before me, and honestly I still feel like crap after that. Crap and even lower than that.... I started to have some ugly thoughts, and knew that I had to do something to interrupt that thinking. I went over to the gym and played racquetball and went on a mile and a half walk. The thoughts are half way interrupted but at least the severity has lessened. I still need to do homework but for now, doing that seems difficult.

I guess physical activity can help, when I"m in a dark place. I still feel inadequate but maybe that will make me a better musician. Maybe.