I've been searching for peace all my life, inner peace that is. My recent attemp involves seeing a Chaplin. We have some very in depth conversations but no matter who I talk to, I just can't forgive myself. Forgive myself for all the suffering I have caused to those who love me, regret for every aspect of my life from the age of 13. Been off the rails sine then. Everything I've done I regret, the drinking, the drugs, selling stuff to pay for drugs, calling parents at stupid times, getting into trouble with police, self harming, putting my daughter ( age 9) through my hell. I need to forgive myself but I can't. People say what I've done in the past shaped who I am now, but I don't like who I am now. I hate myself. Hate who I am, what I've done, who I've become. I don't recognise myself. I have no faith in myself. I am not worthy of this life.