Thanks for clarifying the situation with the therapist. I would suggest looking for a better match, indeed...

...that it was not obvious to YOU can be explained - of course it is hard to see things when they are happening to YOU, while they are happening to YOU, while you are in the middle of it... really hard.

...that it was not obvious to the therapist who was not part of it, was sitting in her cozy office listening to you and not being affected by it emotionally because she was an outsider... that cannot be explained. Does she... know her multiplication table, I wonder?..